I’m a Terrible Writer

…but that hasn’t stopped me from being a published author! A few months ago, I found one of my original manuscripts for Petalwink (whose original name was Periwinkle). It was horrifying. I’m not being self-deprecating or modest. Hear me: HORRIFYING. Which brings me to the point of my post (let’s take a moment to celebrate just how quickly I got to the point. This is something of a special occasion): I KEPT GOING.

Here is the horrifying text in question:

“We’ll be there soon, it will be worth the journey,

Just three magic tasks and you’ll be nice and secure-y.”

BAD, right? Even though this text (written in 2002) must have made it through some kind of initial edit because it was actually in a story that was printed out and I now have a humiliating printed record of it, it gets worse. I saw how ridiculous the couplet was at the time and edited it. In my handwriting is a strike-through and the addition of the word “trip.” The manuscript now reads:

“We’ll be there soon, it will be worth the journey, trip

Just three magic tasks and you’ll be nice and secure-y.”

Readers, dear, dear, patient friends. It’s true. I thought the word “journey” was what was wrong with the text in question. (Let me just clarify right away, because you are wondering if you don’t know me: I have never taken any kind of medication or narcotic in my life, legal or illegal.) To everyone out there who says, “I can’t write,” or “I’m not an artist,” or whatever else I’m-not-a-fill-in-the-blank you can dream up, take it from me, don’t let that stop ya. With so many beautiful and perfectly legitimate enterprises, there seems to come an awkward stage. Ever been in a play? On a first date? In middle school?

The point is to push through the self-loathing and take whatever shred of dignity you can salvage and KEEP GOING, while remembering what fertilizes the roses. One of the aspects of the creative process is “incubation,” where the idea is set aside to be completely forgotten so that it can develop without your grubby hands all over it. The key is to KEEP GOING and actually come back to the idea, undeterred and undisturbed, even if you tried to rhyme “journey” with “secure-y.”

I can’t fathom how many edits there must have been in seven Petalwink books; when I visit classrooms to talk about writing, I often take a sheet of paper that shows the original manuscript I wrote in black and the edits in red. There are about 3-4 words in black and the rest is red. It takes great humility and trust to edit your story down to its essence and then witness its development into its true lovely self. (If you’re wondering, by the way, the above-quoted manuscript is not in existence in any of the Petalwink books; the whole story line and premise were scrapped.) There are lots of  good ideas just waiting for expression and they are looking for you! Don’t let a little fertilizer stop you…

Tagged as: author, editing, keep going, Petalwink, writer